Then I spied the tea pot and said,
"I'll drown those darn ol' flames!"
My friend screamed "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
GIRL, YOU ARE INSANE!"
Well, that brought me to my sences,
And I restored my calm.
Estinguished those dang ol' flames,
Soon all the flames were gone!
Mercy made me pull the plug,
And toss it out of the house!
There's no way that I'll believe
It's not haunted by that mouse!
Take that! You dang ol' toaster,
Good riddance to you too!
Then I remembered Mr. Tightwad!
Gosh! What is he going to do?
I thought that if I cleaned it up
He wouldn't notice anything went wrong.
But when I went out to get it. . . .
The gosh darned thing was gone!
Did it sprout little feet
And simply walk away?
Is this de ja vous, or what?
Seems more like vous ja de!
It seems that my little boy
Was behind the mystery.
He gave it to some 'big kid',
Now getting it back was up to me!
Well, I ran down towards the play yard
School children were out at play.
I didn't know just what to do,
Or what on earth I'd say.
I spied a teacher with his class
Coming from the yard,
"Excuse me Sir, boys and girls."
Believe me, this was hard!
"Uhhhh, While you were playing,
Did anyone happen to see a toaster?"
'A WHAT?' A toaster Sir,
I thought he'd die from laughter!
Both of us were surprised
When we heard one kid shout,
"Yeah! We played kick ball with a toaster,
But some teacher threw it out!"
Well, wouldn't you just know it,
It was trash day in our town.
There must have been a hundred cans,
Scattered all around!
Well, I'm not garbage picking!
I really had enough!
And I don't care what Hubby says!
It's time that I get tough!
"Now you are not going to believe me,
And I don't care if you won't!"
Then told him the whole crazy story,
He said:"YOU'RE RIGHT! I DON'T!"
"I know this toaster is safe to use,"
I told that friend of mine.
"After all it is brand new
This one will be just fine!"
I kept chatting with her
That morning on the phone.
As I made breakfast for myself,
Just me and the kids were home
I put the bread into the slot
Then pressed the lever down
First it spattered, then it smoked!
Soon flames shot all around!
My friend knew I had finally lost it,
When she heard me say...........
CALL THOSE MEN IN THEIR
CLEAN WHITE COATS!
Then tell them to Please
TAKE ME AWAY!
The background music is:
"Slaughter on 10th Avenue "