'Twas the night before Sunday,
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Except for that mouse

Who snuck into our toaster
To steal him some crumbs!
Might call him a CAT Burglar,
{The RAT was a BUM!}

It was quiet and peaceful
That Saturday night,
Until hubby decided
To fix a late night bite.

He thought he'd have toast,
But, when he pressed the lever down,
The silence was broken
By this loud 'squealing' sound!

Seems the little mouse had no defense
Only persecution,
And was sentenced to sudden death

When Hubby called out to me,
I could hear his great distress.
"Honey, could you pleeeeease come down,
And pleeeeease clean up this mess?"

Surely, he MUST be kidding!
"You wand me to do WHAT?

There's no way I'll use it now,
Just throw the darned thing out!

"Do you know just how much
A toaster cost these days?
I'll clean it up myself," He said.
"If you're goin' to be that way!"

Well, for over an hour,
He scraped and he scrubbed,
Then doused the whole thing
In a hot soapy tub!

"You're just wasting your time!!"
I repeatedly said.
"We could get ELECTROCUTED,
Or even drop dead!"

"Oh, you're just being silly!
It's safe now," He'd boast.
Even though (he said) he still used it,
I vowed to NEVER eat toast!

And when the kids would ask me,
For a toaster pop up treat,
I'd tell them toasting stunts their growth
And to try them raw, they can't be beat!

"I think the toaster's safe to use,"
I told a friend of mine.
"After all it's been six months
And Hubby seems just fine."
I kept chatting with her
That morning on the phone,
As I made toast for myself,
Just me and the kids were home.

I put the bread into the slot,
Then presed the lever down.
First it spattered, then it smoked,
Soon flames shot all around!

My friend thought I had lost my mind,
As I screamed at her abrupt,

"Wait there just a moment dear,
Someone's at my door!"

How could she just leave me here
Facing death, or even more?

The short time that she was gone,
To me seemed more like a year.

"That was the mail man,
He said to pull the plug out dear."

I just couldn't reach it,
Despite my strong desire.
Without barbecuing myself,
Or setting the house on fire!


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